I’m watching “Love Actually” and sitting around my house reading and replying to emails. Yesterday I volunteered at Enterprise village for the first day. It was really fun. I guess I’m going to work in the st.petersburg times, which is one of the more challenging businesses. We made a newspaper and everything and I had a great group of kids. I had a interview today for a preschool referral business where I would basically be a on call preschool teacher/caregiver and ill know more about if I have the job next week. If I do have the job my life will be a lot more hectic. Especially because today I am going to st.pete to train with Danny to do birthday parties so I will work on the weekends as well. I feel like I am doing well. I am having fun. I want to get my own place but I’m still not sure if I’d be able to afford it. If I can’t then I will just be saving up money while I’m with my mom. I want a more stable schedule, but you can’t always get what you want. Some days I really do want to live on my own and be able to have everything my way, but then I get scared of not making rent, being broke and such. Busting my butt to make money that just goes to a ridiculously high rent and groceries is not a thing that would make me happy or content. But being able to have a living room of my own, a bedroom that I only sleep in and a kitchen that has all my food and no moths or bugs is what I do want. And if I am working all the time it would be nice to have someplace of my own to come home to. I do want to live with Bryan from time to time but he is afraid that I would want everything my way and he wouldn’t be able to do anything. Well, it’s not true but yes, I do want to have a clean and serene house. A creative house, a bright house and a house where I can have people over, maybe even have dinner parties. A place to be proud of.
I’ll think about it more in the coming days. I mean, all my friends are living on their own. I miss living on my own like when I was in college. I do want to live with Bryan though. I can see myself with him for a long time. But what do I know. We’ve been together for 9 months, which is a long time for me. It could mean something.
What I want:
1) Pride in my home
2) New friends
3) A job where I’m making a positive difference in someone’s life
4) To be content in my life
5) To laugh everyday
6) To have Susan home